Today is another rough day, and honestly, I am having a world of trouble just typing this, but I made myself make the effort. I had a hard time getting out of bed, I'm extremely stiff and achy and it's been a highly emotional morning for me. I wanted to go to church, I wanted to help with getting the kids ready, I wanted to help get breakfast ready, I wanted to be the wife and mommy I think I should be....But the trouble is that today, I can't be what I think I should be. I am in a body that mocks me. I am simply unable to do much more than read or type, and I'm not so sure about the typing. So what is a girl to do?
In the midst of the worst of the tears, in the midst of the shower in the dark because light is not something that is my friend right now (I have the monitor adjusted to where it is very dim and it still is not so pleasant to look at, so I'm closing my eyes and thanking my 6th grade typing teacher for the skill to type without looking :) ), in the midst of feeling worthless, I heard God whisper, "Be still, and know that I am God:" (Psalm 46:10a, KJV) Be still - pause and take a breath, because that's what a comma means - and know that I am God.
All the sudden it didn't matter what I could and couldn't do. I was to be still and know that God was in control. It will all be ok...somehow. I just need to rest in Him. Trust Him. And that's what I'm going to do.
In the moment I decided to trust, that I decided to rest in God, peace came and I was flooded with what I could do. I could pray. I am going to pray for my cousin who is 30 weeks pregnant and having preterm labor issues. I am going to pray for my brother and his family in Ghana where they are missionaries. I am going to pray for the other Fibro moms I know, and anyone else who has a chronic condition. I am going to pray for those struggling. I am going to pray for you. Suddenly, life isn't so bleak, I can still do something oh so very important. I can be a prayer warrior when I can do nothing else. That, my friend, is what gives me strength today; the realization that when I can't, God can...and He's using me today to pray...and I feel blessed beyond words because of it.
To close this post, because honestly, I can't type much longer and I really need to lay down, I am going to post some pictures of the beauty of God's creation. When you look at them, think of these words, "Be still, and know that I am God:" How is God showing you Himself today?